Huh?

: 51.6kgs

Judgments: Just Do It!

The other day, unbranded interactive class guy came up to me boasting that he will dedicate the weekend to "practice running".

HUH?

Don't you just naturally move your feet faster than usual to promote a run? What is there to practice? The movement of arms, co-ordinating the legs? What? Ok, i know you marathoners out there will tell me you want to refine the technique, get used to the distance and train you body etc.

Unlike other sports which you can practice, running just sounds funny. Its almost like me saying that I want to practice walking. It just doesn't work, it happened naturally for me one day when I stopped crawling. I just did it! No practice, just walked. Catch my drift?

: Sheeesh what a silly statement...

Inappropriate yoga outfits

: 51.8kgs from all the stresses of a relationship


Judgments : Your little birdie is singing!


All of you would know how I feel about men in tights - not much.

Gym outfits are all part and parcel of the gym equipment, you must look good to feel good and so for wholesome mind and body exercises such as yoga, the outfit is just as important as the workout. I've seen people coming in to class looking like a housewife doing a wok with yan episode on kuali cooking - that look belongs only in the kitchen.

Inappropriate yoga outfits would firstly include loose fitting ones. With simple sun salutations and poses such as downdog in the sequence, huge 80's looking t-shirts are just not in. They ride up the waist and soon you have this bunch of cloth on the top half of your torso, exposing some flabby stomachs and disgusting looking bra tops. Ladies, PLEASE do society a favor and glam up, throw away those old t-shirts and get proper gym gear.

Guys, your option of running shorts for yoga are just as bad. I've seen many exposed balls and other unnecessary sights that really kill the "mind" part of the mind and body workout. If you HAVE to wear little shorts in a yoga class, make sure your packages are packed tight!

TIGHTS, there is that ugly outfit that men should never wear in the gym. It couldn't be more of an eyesore, especially when the birdy is out and singing. It is terribly distracting to women, and if none of us have ever voiced it out before, let me be the first! Tight fitting clothes on men would never be a fashion statement unless you plan to join the Mardi Gras parade.


: focus....focus...

Body Jam Makes You Confident

: 52.5kgs

Judgments : If only they knew what they looked like...

I've been away on a badly needed holiday, it was my way of re-connecting with The Boy; work and our varied interests seem to be keeping us apart. I'm a gym bitch and he carries on life mostly as a couch potato, these are just some of the areas where east and west don't meet. Then again, I'm often reminded by friends that opposites do attract. It would be nice to sometimes run alongside him on the treadmill, not just the beach...oh well, a girl can dream.

It was thrilling returning to the gym and getting my adrenalin running again, that I can say. Nothing has changed since I was gone, a bad VPL imprinted on thighs greeted me followed by a roomful of B.O. during Jam. Jam, now that is a class that does amazing things for self confidence.

Insecure people out there should not be locked up in a hall crying their eyes out at an Asia Works convention or some life improvement seminar. They should sign up for a gym membership and head right for Body Jam. I was late for class once and had to be an observer instead of participant. The confidence that exuded from the people in the class was amazing.

There were overweight women in the skimpiest of outfits available one-size smaller, pudgy men, guys who looked like they needed a pre-gym shower and other people who would never in their lifetime be featured on Tattler. These people are the ones who would be dancing without a care, in fact putting on an even more outrageous show when they see people watching from the outside. JLo and JT wannabes abound in Jam, in fact, they dance like they are auditioning for the cast of Cats!

I can totally understand the feeling of liberation though. When I'm moving with the music, being one with the rhythm, nothing is more exhilarating than the moment itself...


: Unbelievable, but I find myself amused yet abused by the sight

Gross Sights at the Gym (Women)

: I feel fine and my clothes tell me I am


Judgments : Veggies are good for you, Wedgies are not!

You already know my list of gross sights for men, so here it is, the countdown for the women-folk.

The reason for this post stared at me in the face during a Balance class. There it was, the number 1 sin which I'll reveal in a bit. It is embarrassing when women can make such a list, but unfortunately gross sights of women do exist in the gym.

An untamed bush definitely makes the list. But it is not a common sight on the gym floor. What is are flabs, one of the worst sights to present itself without shame. Women with flabs either around the waist or arms must cover themselves accordingly. While it looks ok around The Boy, kind of cute in fact, I've been subject to spare tyres from women who choose to wear only a bra top! This brings total attention to the "what-is-trying-to-be" a waist area.

There is also the flabby arms that continue saying goodbye long after the wrist says so. Women out there, tone your arms before you attempt to wear sleeveless tops! What peeves me most are that the larger-sized women are the ones who seem to think that sleeveless tops look more appealing for their chunkers. I couldn't disagree more! Cover up and spare us the pain. And next time Ms Universe is on, watch it to learn the elbow-to-wrist world peace wave that the contestants have perfected. You would notice no movements from the tricep area. If you're not gonna work it out, cover it up!

If sleeveless tops must be worn for any reason by an offender, for the love of society and beauty - SHAVE! I almost requested the removal of a gym member due to confusion over her actual sex after encountering a hairy armpit. Bush belongs in the White House (at least for now). I shudder even having to recount the experience.

Which brings us to the top of the list and back to the Balance class. My eyes immediately BALKED! OH....MY....GODDESS! It was the infamous VPL making its way to the gyms near me! My head was spinning, the room felt suffocating, I lost my balance and focus almost as soon as I saw the division. The lady in front of me made like a banana and there it was - the split between pantied flesh and non. It was especially pronounced on the fleshier ass coupled with a tight panty.

I wish someone had introduced her to g-strings and I wish I had practiced in front of her. It was all too late now...

: May more women find peace and style and new gyms

The Who, The What and The Why

: 52.9kgs, damn, its got to move faster!

Judgments : THAT is SO ugly!

Gym; its the one place that houses a collection of damn good looking people with great bodies as well as the other end of the scale, i.e. ugly people.

Where else would east and west, black and white, the sun and the moon collide with such envy. Sure, its a one-way thing; the ugly will always envy the beautiful, that is just the law of nature. Some of the uglies will think they are beautiful, and that is when it gets disgusting for us good looking ones. Mind you, the ugly usually can't cross over, no matter how hard they try.

....and boy do they try!

"Who IS that" commonly refers to the women-folk who try to doll themselves out with OTT gym attire. The colors, the extensions and all kinds of animal prints which would fit better in a zoo!

"What IS that" gets to the next level of ugly where they become something else. I hate to say it but often its the flamboyant gay man that gets this tagging. He thinks he IS and walks around the gym looking it and of course gets widely noticed.

The next level of ugly is reserved for those beyond help and shouldn't exist amongst the beautiful. Sure, they are bold; bold enough to think they can walk out of the house looking like that! One look and your facial muscles can't help but react. You want to look away but you have never seen such a sight - you can't help but to stare. "Why IS that"...because it doesn't make any sense for those people to be.

: Need to go shopping to clear my mind of the mental image of the Why Is That guy

Its NOT an interactive class you idiot!

: 53.7 kgs

Judgments : Just pedal and shut up!

RPM or spinning as it is known overseas became highly popular in the late 90s. I remember reading about it being widely followed in the States back then. Only in these past few years did Malaysia pick up on the trend, here we call it RPM, I assume it is a Les Mills branded name.

First time I heard of RPM, visions of furiously spinning tyre rims and engine revving came to mind. The vision turned out to be a real nightmare! RPM really gets the sweat breaking through. Those of you who can't seem to manage a drop should try this class. The only thing I hate about it are the disco ball lights, they make me dizzy at times and do nothing to help me imagine that I am cycling through the villages in France.

Nothing however irritates me more than this moron in class who thinks that he needs to be responding to every command the instructor spews out.

RPM Instructor : Ok, get ready to turn it up, we're coming to a hill
Moron : "Ya"
RI : Turn it up!
Moron : "Ya"
RI : How you all feeling? Good?
Moron : "Ya" Whoooooooooo

For crying out loud, it is NOT an interactive class, and where on earth does he find the energy to do anything but pedal like hell!



: Someone should shove a sock into his mouth before the class...

Sour Lemon

: Not important!

Judgments : The Boy is not going to have a welcome home!

"No time" was the excuse he gave me when I asked if he had gone over to Pure Yoga to check out Lulu Lemon! No time for Lulu Lemon? Sometimes I wonder about his priorities...


: See if I have time for him when he gets back from Singapore

Gross Sights at The Gym (Men)

: Feels light like a bunny!

Judgements : I wish they'd learn to be beautiful before they came trotting in the gym!

The gross sight is not the men themselves but their sense of dressing. You already know what I have to say about those in track pants.

My gay boys have a great sense of style along with hot bods but not all have such sense of style, lets not even talk about the straight men. The Boy, when he does feel like gymming, throws on the t-shirt on top of the ironed pile and a shorts that matches or sometimes doesn't and off he goes. There is no planning...that's where the problem lies.

As a result, they burden other people with how they look - UGLY! Disgusting also comes to mind but gross is my usual reaction, especially to looks that are so last century. Tights rate top of the list. Why do you think Robin Hood Men In Tights wasn't a blockbuster? Gross sights usually involve tights I'll provide a visual:

1. Men in tights and little singlets
2. Men in tights and little singlets and no cutting on their arms or chest
3. Men with all of 2 above and with a protruding stomach

If you think I made that up, he exists in my jam and pump class. And shockingly, he has friends. I just try to stay on the other end of the studio in case I choke catching a glimpse of him while trying to catch my breath.

Another disturbing sight is men in running shorts. They are too little and too loose. This is not Hawaii.

I do yoga and in one of my classes, we have a guy who practices in his running shorts! He along with the shorts should be banned from yoga class. Running shorts should only be allowed in marathons and on guys with toned and larger thighs. Put the running shorts pulled high on milky white legs with matching running top and you might get the urge to offer him a sarong or a fashion magazine.

: I hate jewelry viewing while I'm trying to synchronize my breath with my pose!

I Want...Lulu Lemon!

: Had another bout of runs so I should weigh even less now!

Judgements : There is Nike and then there was Lulu Lemon

I was in yoga executing an especially twisted pose when I noticed the newcomer next to me decked out in Lulu Lemon from top to bottom. That BITCH! I've wanted a LL outfit for some time now. Its like a designer gym outfit. The fabric is amazing, their logo so cute and the colors totally juicy! I WANT I WANT I WANT!

The outfit doesn't look good on her at all, perhaps more toning and classes might help. Seriously, the LL outlet managers should filter their clients before selling them anything. Note to self to NOT get the same outfit.

After class I pretended to compliment her on her poses and proceeded to inquire about LL. She bought it overseas, but apparently it is sold across the border, down south at one of the yoga centers. I came across an outlet selling LL here but prices were ridiculous. It was going for close to RM500 for one piece. I didn't like it that much after that but the salesgirl who thought she was selling Prada didn't have to know. Seriously, what IS IT with salesgirls? If they had all that money, they won't be SALESGIRLS would they?

Not being able to get LL out of my mind after seeing apparel queen in class, I immediately called The Boy who happened to be there on business. After convincing him that I missed him terribly, I suggested that he would be a true darling if he got his executive butt over to the yoga centre to check out some really sexy outfits. Promised him I'd model whatever he decided to bring back ;) its always works *giggles*

: Can't wait for The Boy to call!